Found...Not Only My Words, But My Voice

As you know, from my previous post, I was struggling mightily with what to say at the Drug Awareness Seminar, which was last night.

Good News! I found my words...and my voice to speak them. The seminar went really well, we had an excellent turn out and, I hope, opened a few eyes to the truth of drug addiction and heroin use among teens. My son read his friend's speech that was supposed to be delivered at this meeting a month ago, but was cancelled due to weather; his friend was found dead from an overdose 2 days later. My son also spoke about his own story, which is heartbreaking, as a mother, to hear.

So, what did I say? Well here is my speech:

I have struggled all week with what to say to you tonight - and anyone who knows me, knows that this a rare occurrence because I ALWAYS have something to say.

Nothing in life prepares you for your child being a drug addict and how to cope with that. It is difficult, as a parent, to admit your child is an addict, and so much easier to look the other way; ignore the signs. While I knew that my son was using "something," I had no idea what that something was, or the extent of his using...least of all, the lifestyle he had involved himself in. Heroin never entered my mind. All I knew, in my gut, was that he was in serious trouble and we had to do something to help him.

Looking at my son today, it is probably difficult for any of you to really understand what he was like in the height of his addiction; it was heartbreaking. Once the drugs are gone, the addict looks like their 'old self' and the first instinct is to believe the addict is cured...they are not. It is easier to focus on the addict, they are, after all, the one with the problem. But the truth is that addiction affects the whole family - it is a family disease - and each member has to learn to deal with the reality of what has happened and the aftermath. And that is why, as a parent, recovery is so difficult - it is where the hard work is at, where you deal with the emotions associated with addiction; the anger, betrayal, sadness, grief and fear. Because understanding that you did not cause your child's drug use is easy to say, but beleiving it in your heart proves much more difficult. It is a process, and it doesn't happen overnight.

When my son went into detox, he asked me not to tell anyone what was going on; he was concerned that others would see him differently. I hope today that people do see him differently. I hope they see him for the remarkable young man he is - that he has fallen and gotten back up - that he is a face of courage, of survival and of hope for others struggling with addiction.

He is my son, and he is an addict.

~alicia